As someone who has spent some time in the weight loss community, I’ve noticed this problem. Women are losing weight, achieving their goals, and are still hating their bodies. Why? Because their bodies and how much they weigh is not the problem.
The true problem is low self-esteem. And, unfortunately, low self-esteem does not discriminate. If you think poorly of yourself, hate yourself, and find yourself worthless, that train of thought will follow you around, no matter how much your body weighs. Your low self-esteem will continue to pick on your body, no matter how perfect it is. I know this because I see women with amazing bodies still struggling with a positive self-image.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a Victoria’s Secret model, because, like I said, low self-esteem does not discriminate. So the solution isn’t to change your body, to make it smaller – the solution is to tackle your low self-esteem.
It took the hard work of losing 65 lbs for me to realize that I can truly love myself at any size and weight. Here’s three tips for tackling your low self-esteem.
1) Realize how inconsequential the size of your body is.
In all honesty, the size of your body, how much it weighs, and the way it looks is very inconsequential. Society may try to tell you otherwise, but in the grand scheme of things how your body looks is very miniscule.
What is important is how it performs. That is very important! It needs to be able to get you to work. It needs to have the energy to take proper care of your kids and family. So make that your focus!
Not only that, but being thin is not a legacy you want to leave behind. Do you know of anyone simply because they were thin? Yes, models are known for being beautiful and thin, but how many models are out there changing the world simply because of how they look? The answer is none.
Because how you look is inconsequential. I will say it a million times!
Being kind, gracious, healthy, loving, faithful, trustworthy, and dependable are all so much more important than simply being skinny.
2) Make a list of things you like about yourself.
Sit down and write a literal list of things you like about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, ask your husband, mom, or BFF. I’m sure they’ll have plenty of amazing things to share with you! I recommend making this list a mixture of physical things about your appearance (since that is the focus of your low self-esteem) as well as positive characteristics.
Here are some examples:
- I like the way my smile reaches my eyes.
- My teeth are really white.
- I always help my co-workers when they need it.
- I love to check up on my friends and treat them to coffee.
- I love my freckles.
- I love to take my toddler on adventures.
- My body birthed beautiful children.
Read this list until you memorize it. Read this list until you believe it with your entire heart. Say it to yourself out loud – while looking yourself in the eyes in a mirror!
3) Believe your loved ones they compliment you.
From now on, your only response to a compliment is “thank you”. Not only is this polite, but it forces you to just accept what they’re saying and recognize it as truth. No more “thank you, but…”. You’re no longer allowed to say anything to minimize their compliment, got it?
Your friends and family love you, right? So when they compliment you, they aren’t lying to you. They’re simply sharing their perception of you with you. And their perception is generally a lot more truthful and kind, because I firmly believe we are our own worst critics.
Of course, these three tips are not a cure-all and it’s much easier said than done. But with hard work and dedication, you can learn to love yourself at any size, weight, and shape.