This post was inspired by an old post of mine. I wanted to delve deeper into my claim that moms have it harder today than they did even 30 years ago. Moms today are facing challenges of motherhood that previous generations of mothers couldn’t even dream up.
The point of this post is mere encouragement. Motherhood is hard, and it can be even harder when you feel like others are looking down on you and judging you. Just remember – moms make the best decisions they can for their families, and doing it differently doesn’t make you wrong.
Lets get right into it, ladies!
1. More research to consider
More and more research has been conducted, which means there is so much more for moms to wade through and consider. More research about what exactly? Everything. And a lot of it isn’t even conclusive, just enough to cause lots of speculation.
2. Two sides to every story
Along the same thread as the first point, there are two sides to every coin. And for some reason, our society has accepted the lie that if you choose one side then you vehemently hate the other. It’s really easy to be offended as a mom, too. Sometimes this happens because moms are insecure about the choices that they’ve made. But other times it’s because moms can be straight nasty and put a spin on things. Let me show you what I mean:
- “I breastfeed my child because I love her and want what’s best for her.”
- “I bottle fed my child because breasts are sexual and I don’t want him to have a complex.”
- “I vaccinate my child because I don’t want him to die of preventable illnesses.”
- “I don’t vaccinate my child because I don’t want to risk a vaccine injury.”
Do you see the nasty spin I’m talking about? I’ll see these comments on social media and can’t help but roll my eyes at this sanctimonious attitude. Mothers are allowed to make whatever choices they want for their kids. But invalidating another mom’s choices is just wrong.
What moms should be saying is that “I did xyz because, upon further examination and research, I found that to be most congruent with our lifestyle”.
3. “I just HAVE to say something”
Again, this is related to the top two points. Moms these days just have to say something to their mom friends that make different decisions than they do. I see it in mom groups on Facebook all the time! “My friend is going to vaccinate her newborn today and I have to say something! What should I say?!”
No, no, girlfriend! Learn some self-control and let your friend parent her child as she sees fit.
4. Social media makes it easy to compare
With social media, it’s nearly impossible to not compare yourself to other moms. Moms love to post about their kids! And there’s nothing wrong with that – it just gives you a lot of material to compare yourself to.
It’s so easy to see those posts of moms who are so fit. Or who have a pristine kitchen. Or whose kids cooperate for photos. Or whose kids actually eat more than cheerios. And when you see those posts you just think, “if she can do it, why can’t I?”.
5. Anyone at anytime can film you
This point really makes my blood boil. Have you seen those viral videos of moms struggling in public? It’s those situations where a mom is struggling with her child in public, and, instead of offering help, someone recorded her and put her on blast on the Internet.
I just can’t help but see myself in those struggling mothers. Kids can put us through it sometimes, and those moments are so hard. And to have it recorded forever on the Internet so that strangers can judge and ridicule you would be devastating.
This is something that can follow mothers around for years too, because there is no such thing as “deleting from the Internet”.
Are there any challenges you have faced lately? How can we as a society better support mothers these days?
If you found this post encouraging, please share the love! 🙂